I am back. I have been having a pretty shitty go for a bit but i am back now and loving the new work I am seeing. I hope to god I didn't lose a few of my friends on here.

so mike leaves and ginny cracks like 4 mile stones... she made a baby vocab sentence(sounds using both vowel sounds an consenents with pauses), she has discovered she has feet an likes to play with them, she started grabbing for toys, and she has started mimicking hand movements of others


so i got a call from mike today very very unexpected i expected not to hear from him for about 3 weeks... but he is scared just like everyone else in basic he is worried about not passing pt testing on the run... i told him he could do it. he also misses me his voice cracked when he told me that i almost started crying but i needed to be his rock and let him know he could do it. to help him get through it but it hurt hearing the fear in his voice. that scared me i think he is going to defeat himself before he even starts. he is so strong but he has little confidence



i love him he is so strong and amazing i miss him but i KNOW he can make it if he puts his mind to it

i kind of chose to celebrate my birthday on the 11th. got my families gifts... some smell good stuffs and chocolate from my mum and dad... and from mikes mom stamps. not exactly my ideal gifts but i think they smelled good.


so yesterday was sad, i woke up in mikes arms and had to crawl out to feed ginny... got back in bed and spent the last bit of quality alone time with him. then we dropped him off and ginny and i went to my physical therapy session... so his mom calls in the middle of my appointment seeing if she could come sit with him til he left... i begrudgingly told her how to get to the recruiting station... as soon as i was done at noon i left and went straight to him. mind you his mom called me at 10:30 and said she was leaving that very moment so she should have gotten there at 11 or 1115 at the latest... as i pulled in she was running in like a damned chicken with her head cut off... needless to say she did annoying shit and was there the whole time making it uncomfortable for me to be near mike because i am just uncomfortable around her... so the transport was supposed to be there around 1230 but luckily he didnt make it til 1315 and mike was there until 1345... i said bye and managed not to cry, so his recruiters start talking about how great a man he was i asked them to stop so i didnt cry...



after that i went into town to give dave back something mike forgot the day before, we had lunch or supper or dinner or something in the middle of the afternoon and talked. i really love dave he is such a great friend and so close. so i think i made it until around 6 or so wit out shedding a tear and i only cried a little bit yesterday but i couldnt sleep last night very well because my bed hasnt been empty for a year or more it was hard



i am hoping it gets better soon, i know its going to be a struggle but im up for the fight and i have made a goal that by the time he gets back ill be able to pass my physical training test so that i can go running with him and excersize with him. get healthy and strong.



the next journal will be my goals for the next five months...



i need parenting books if anyone has any especially if they are on alternative raising techniques... bringing up baby to be creative and imaginative so give me ideas please.

February 16th 2009 was and will always be the best day of my life.

My beautiful daughter, Genevieve Lilyann Kali, was born at 7:27 p.m. When she was born she was 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 21 in. long. She has sandy blonde hair and deep grey blue eyes. She looks more like myself than Michael, however, she has his head shape I think. We will see as she grows.

She had to get put on antibiotics because she came out with a bit of a fever and some other slight issues, and she didn't get to come home with me last night. That made me really sad, I feel guilty that I couldn't be there with her all night. Though I know it's all for her health and wellness so I will deal with these things. She is so strong and lively. In fact she was so strong that she had to be put in an arm splint to keep her from collapsing the IV tubing, oh and she kept breaking out of that splint.

She does have a bit of a temper. She also has a bit of a mouth. She is totally not afraid to tell you what she thinks or feels. She is a Daddy's girl through and through.

Another surprising turn of events, most of you know I am a very arts-y person. That my work is pretty visually stimulating, right?? Well, did you know that when I closed my eyes before I could never actually visualize anything? Nope, not one thing all my paintings were just ideas in my head or emotions that came out on the canvas or media I chose. So guess what. When ever I close my eyes now to go to bed or even if I just want to see her, I close my eyes and there she is all cuteness and wonder.

Okay kids, I'll give you more later.

I am such a baby really, i looked through my sisters pictures of her baby boy gabriel and cried... he was born as small as Ginny is right now in my womb 5lbs 13oz that just got to me how small but so full of life this little thing in my belly is...

Well Genevieve(ginny) will be here soon and i am sooooo not ready, i have none of the things i need, no diapers, no crib built and the one i have is missing pieces so its kinda pointless to use if we cant find a piece that makes the thing work... its just a bolt but its still kinda major to me, i have yet to get a car seat (hoping to get that today maybe), i have no breast pump no bottles that i like (mind you i have bottles but not bpa free or the ones with liners, so ill live but im kinda grr about that) not only all of this but ginny keeps acting like she wants to be here NOW...

i am 35 weeks as of today!!! i got an ultrasound/sonogram on thursday and ginny is doing just wonderful she is estimated at 5 lbs 13 oz and i think they said 20 inches long just nto quite sure about the length... she has practice breathing down pat and thats a bonus! she still has my little nose... im telling you i think she could possibly be the cutest baby evar but im biased... if she doesnt get too impatient in there she will be here Feb 23... but if she does get impatient i am hoping for Feb 13, im superstisious sorry but babies born on friday the 13th are luckier... so soon ill get to hold the little poop in my arms, i love her but mein got this child likes to beat me up for being in HER bubble space... mind you she lives in my bubble space.

mike and i are both pretty eager for him to get going on boot camp its a big thing for us... i will be sad to see him go and it will be really hard not being with him all the time ive gotten used to him being there and i love him so much!